Who do you trust?  Anyone?  I mean, really truly trust?  Scary concept when you really stop and think about it.  I normally have a very intuitive gut instinct, but I’ve been off base a lot lately.  Having said that, it makes me question everyone and everything(with the exception of some very close to me that love me more than life itself).  Am I wrong about that person too?  Or how about when you know something that’s true about a person, but yet you still give them the benefit of the doubt?  Bites you every single time.  Are you just foolish at that point?  Stupid?  Or just kind because you wanted to believe they were capable of so much more?  Hurts deeply…emotional and raw pain right in the depth of your heart.  Makes you want to say why and how.  *ouch*  I felt that knife.  Self, please learn a lesson this time.  Do not repeat.

I looked down the stairwell at work today.  I thought, look how many steps it took for me to reach where I’m standing now.  Simple concept, maybe.  Related to life?  Yes.  I look back to ten years ago and see how much has occurred in my life, how many steps I’ve taken to get here, and all of the paths I’ve crossed.  I have a million more, I’m sure.  Have you made a difference in the last ten years?  What about the last five?  I have no clue where I’m going; I only know that it’s a matter of taking one step at a time to get there….  Keep reaching, keep smiling(trying to anyhow), keep telling yourself to have faith even when your stairwell is bleak and dark.  It’s sometimes in the dark that we truly learn what it means to believe.

 

xo,

Shana

 

Advertisements